wasted
i read quite a few old blog entries today. just about everything from 2007 year-end to the end of last year. and am feeling rather sad. about how things just come and go; about how we don't treasure the present till its gone; about how the quality of my present life pathetically compares to the hectic yet happy (for the lack of a better word) jc life.

when i was a trainee i would complain about roughing it out. but here am i now, leading a fairly lax life, but yet feeling completely disatisfied with how my life is turning out and just feeling a sense of daily waste.

i want to achieve something in the coming year, which is why im not complaining about going back to course. but hopefully i'll be able to take it after such a long period of being out of it all, and i pray i will be able to fix the mess i have made out of my life this past year since the end of bmt, and actually make it all right again.

i should be sleeping, but there are just too many things on my mind. i can't describe how i feel right now. just a general sense of longing, though for what im not quite sure myself.